Muslims Burn Danish in Response to Mohammad Cartoons

BerryBurger News (Amsterdam): After a Danish newspaper published cartoons of Mohammad, protesters began burning danishes across the Muslim world. More moderate Muslims, who like their danish and coffee in the morning, decided that the pastry will now be called the "Dervish" after the sufi whirling dervishes of Middle Eastern fame. "We remember when the Americans renamed the 'French Fry' the 'Freedom Fry', and decided that the danish is now the dervish. It's round and goes in a circle so the name fits. More radical imams decide that the humble danish is a "western abomination" worthy of shame for anyone who eats one. "Those who eat danish are Kaffir and caught in the web of western decadence. Just look at all the sugar on those things! If you want something nice and sweet why not eat some Baqlawa."Middle Eastern

Expert, Prof. Ima Stuge, noted that the response was not unexpected. "Middle Easterners are very proud of local sweets. It is no suprize that when offended, they might attack some of the central symbols of Danish culture, while at the same time calling for the cultural integrity of their own patries. I know that Imams are very concerned about dangerous western values which may debase their own values, and of course, their local pastries. Once must remember that the cultivation of grains first began in the fertile crescent, and therefore the West should be graiteful for the cultural accomplishements of the Middle East, since without them there would be no danish for us to enjoy with our coffee."Prof. Rea Aktsonery, dismissed the claim that without Middle Eastern culture there would be no danish. "We know from ancient Chinese writings that a rice based form of the danish was developed. While boiled instead of baked, it did contain cinnomon and was in the shape of a roll. It is my thesis that the Chinese invented the danish. It was a favourite dish of the first emporor of the Ming dinasty. I'm certain the Chinese will be shocked to see the danish being treated in such a manner."

Several bakers across Denmark were quick to distance themselves from the Mohammad cartoons. "We think people should respect others religious sensibilities. It's too bad that a few fools have to ruin life for the rest of us. We are all not a bunch of hooligans bent on causing trouble. All we want to do is live our lives and bake our danish." The Danish Bakers are planning send free danish to the middle east as a sign of friendship. When asked whether they would rename them the "dervish", they replied, "We'll we don't like it, but they'll still taste good whatever they are called."